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her acceptance speech
used the phonetic “New-Clear”
because she is smart

oil's a fungible
commodity, and they don't
flag the molecules

lots of fancy words
can't convince those that can tell
truth from gibberish

Energy expert.
Russia maven. Budget wiz.
“Bush Doctrine”? What’s that?

first passport last year
suggests little thought given
to running the world

trusts all to God’s will?
fine, because her election
would prove He rigs votes

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dang, the bounce is gone.
Palin must have used it all
for those silly bangs.

woman with big guns
shoots her campaign in the foot
with hypocrisy

couldn't afford rape kits
palin was saving money
to build hockey rink

palin says "No Roe!"
poverty or felony?
that's freedom of choice!

Sara Palin knows
what's best with guns 'n ammo?
mom and apple pie!

there are not enough
syllables to express my
objections to you

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Pit bull in lipstick
Politics of division
In color that lasts!

Tina Fey glasses,
you can’t hide those lyin’ eyes,
but you distract us

Perky Governor
She can handle a shotgun
And still make dinner

Her warm smile tells us
The old white ways are still best
Don't vote for black men

To make a big splash
Just sell a plane on E-bay
And bury the loss

Abstinence is best
Young people don't get pregnant
Unless it's God's will

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closest to Russia?
nearby power lines don't make
an electrician

bachelor degree
five colleges in six years
eskimo barbie

women, don't be fooled
by this walking womb acting
like she's qualified.

met six months ago
had just one conversation
that should be enough

PTA member
kids are better vetted for
a job at Best Buy

remain silent and
be thought a fool, or speak out
and remove all doubt

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“I’d like to tap that,”
McCain told an aide, winking.
Wait! Didn’t mean as Veep!

the rest of the world
sees Palin and judges us.
we aren't all bitches!

Huffington calls Palin
‘Trojan moose’ – huge, foul, and full
of Bush policies.

hey, I’m just like me!
apparently that makes me
Veep material.

the vetting process.
more like regretting process!
no one is laughing.

barracudas and
pitbulls are not bringers of
peace, lipstick or no.

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Old Boy's Clubs must go
when you want all the money
for your friends instead

Troopergate scandal?
please stop naming shit '-gate', or
just stop breaking laws

two weeks to drop out
just wishful thinking, maybe.
but sure would be nice

Pentecostal fire!
praying for new gas pipeline.
where would Jesus drill?

surely the people
realize the stakes are too high.
I am so naive.

I heard they are all
either natives or outlaws
up in Alaska

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there are no PUMAs
just disguised Republicans
pretending to care

works out at the gym,
butchers moose in her basement
she is just like us!

birth defects are sad.
are they God's way of saying,
"quit reproducing"?

whining nasally
about being mistreated
go back to your igloo

Had to hire experts
to teach her foreign affairs.
inexperience

"Sambo beat the bitch"
that's no kind of way to talk
Sarah, for shame

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she declares Jihad 

against federal earmarks

(except Wasilla's)

First Dude Todd grins big -- 

snowmachiner nonpareil

bagged big game: the Guv!

baby's hair a fright

sister pets it into place

camera sees hand lick

those glasses! the hair!

is Tina Fey the next veep?

we'd be better off

one heartbeat away

from the presidency. good

thing it's not Rush's

mom I'd like to fuck.

grandmother I'd like to fuck.

VP I don't want.

Start it off

lipstick-smeared pitbull,
hockey mom wants deference,
but hasn't earned it.

Abort little Trig?
Why, that would defy God’s will.
But make sense, as well.

teaching abstinence
does not work for teen daughters.
bun in the oven!

banning books, racism,
fire for personal gain.
sounds republican.

no education,
just experience leading
a land of nowheres.

Hottest Alaskan
is also batshit. Oh, and
wants to run the world.